yes, no, maybe so

It's been a very long time. I'm just not sure how to make the time for this. I love that I can just write what I feel, but with five children not sure if I should try to keep this up. I keep saying yes, it's my time, no you don't have the time or maybe you can try. So, I have no idea. I can't even make up my mind on what to eat for dinner!
See, now I hear baby moving, the other yelling, mommy I'm done and water running from somewhere.....
Okay. Lots has happened. We had our sweet baby girl February 25th. She was a week early (first early baby) and weighted 9lbs! I was shocked. She wasn't my biggest but come on, a week early. She's super sweet. We are so blessed. I love how the Lord has changed mine and Tim's heart to be as one in our desire to have a large family. I come from a big family and always knew I wanted 4 kids. My husband comes from a very small family and said he was never getting married or having kids! haha I never pressured Tim. When he said after our 4th that he was done I said okay. Well in my heart (total God thing) I was not done. So I began praying that the Lord would have us on the same page. If we were to be finished than I would feel that too, and if not than Tim would not feel "done". So months later, Tim came to me and said I'm not done! After that he had 3 dreams, 3 nights in a row that I was pregnant and that everything would be okay. Yeah, well I was pregnant! Now after Charlotte, our baby girl he hasn't said he's done:) So we'll be praying. Also, we've been praying about homeschooling. Especially since Austin came home and asked us what porn was!!!! No I'm not naive thinking homeschooling will solve all that, but it sure will give me time to pour into them. And along with that we are looking to move. I am really ready to move. My neighborhood, oh you would think we lived, well yeah. So, the kids have seen stuff, like neighbors house being raided with under covers wearing ski masks, beer thrown in our backyard and they don't like going outside. Don't blame them. Lots going on. Raising a family is tough, raising a godly family, wow. But God is good and faithful. We are excited to see what He will do this year for us. For now, I'm going to love on my babies and be a wife to my husband. Until the next time we meet....