Refining Me

It has been one tough month. Tim was laid off and just started a new job. Dealing with the lay off was much easier than dealing with this new job. We went from spending every lunch together and having dinner as a family at 5:30 to trying to wait until 8:00pm for dinner with him and spending 2 hours together. Working 10+ hours a week just wasn't in the plan for me. Having our 5 children was easy when he was working mostly from home. My heart wants to just trust and know that God's plan is larger than life. It has been a refinement that is not easy. The Lord is chiseling those things I was holding on to and laziness was one of them. He is showing me what I'm made of, through Him. I can not do this, but HE CAN. That is where my hope and peace is in. I know this fire we are going through is to refine us. He promises we won't get burned!

"Have you not know? Have you not heard? The everlasting God, the LORD, The Creator of the ends of the earth, Neither faints nor is weary. His understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the weak, And to those who have no might He increases strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, And the young men shall utterly fall, But those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint" Isaiah 40:28-31

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; You are Mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, Nor shall the flame scorch you. For I am the LORD your God, The Holy One of Israel, your Savior…” (Isaiah 43:1-3

The more I read His word, the more I fall in Love with Him. How can I not? He is the Savior to us sinners, He loves us no matter what. Even when I question what is He doing, He is patient with me. Is this the job I want for my husband and family, no. But I am totally surrendering to the refinement My Jesus is doing in my heart.
I've heard this song a million times. It wasn't until today it made sence to me. Sanctus Real, Whatever Your Doing:


It's time for healing time to move on
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time to make right what has been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me
And all I can do is surrender

(Chorus)
Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something Heavenly

Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Reevaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow Your will
Or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is You want from me
I give everything I surrender...
To...

(Chorus)

Time to face up
Clean this old house
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Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I've wanted to say for so many years
Time to release all my held back tears

Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly

Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but now I can see
This is something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly
Something Heavenly

It's time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out